To Mom on Monday night, 10:14 p.m.

very proud of you mom. I think this is most definitely a step in the right direction.

My heart strings were aching to talk to everyone tonight...whats funny is that it hurt so much mostly because I knew exactly what it was like, I knew what jokes were being made and what you were eating and what people were thinking and who was sad and who was drunk...and right now, I don't even know what I am going to do tomorrow! Every day brings something new. And I keep learning abotu myself. it is so strange to discover new things about yourself. and about america. and about humanity in general. but especially about america! i do get sad when i think about my friends and family, it seems unfair to not be able to love what your doing and have everyone you love around you at the same time..but I guess I've just switched places from new york to montana and thats what happens. I, too, am applying to grad school...but more on that later...

I saw Into the Wild over the weekend and it had the most profound, unnerving, anxiety provoking, inspiring, heartwrenching effect on me...have you seen it? I can't stop thinking about it, I cried for almost 40 minutes afterwards, it was so intense for me. If you see it or already have, I would like to know your thoughts on why it affected me so much...I have some ideas but I can't figure it out.

My vegan roomate made me steak tonight that I bought from a family at the farmer's market, it was quite good. I haven't had a meal that wasn't completely sourced by (almost entirely) local food since I've been here...(the exceptions: almond milk, crackers, olive oil, veggie burgers, cheese). Tomorrow the funders come and we have been preparing intensely for their visit to wow the pants off them and give us lots of money...its a really funny balance we are trying to strike with these foundations, we want to show them that we are smart and respectable and have lots of potential but also that we are a poor, struggling, and desperate community that needs their money. How to do both? It's strange...

Anyway, I'm going to bed. I love you and think of you everyday. Really and truly. Eat some kohlrabi for me, it'll make you go nuts.

xo c

P.S. this is what it looks like where I live